I love both parts of the first paragraph there. First that you want to give con-crit to the fic (which I always love because I do need it to help my writing grow) and second that YOU LIKED IT SO MUCH THAT YOU NEEDED TO REREAD TO FIND SOME. That is such a huge compliment that I don't even know what to do with it.
1. It probably feels uncertain because I WAS uncertain. The present tense that you mentioned at the forbidden tense comes naturally to me...mostly when I sit down to write, it automatically comes as present. The second person, though...I'd never used it before. Sweets...never used him before. I consider myself really bad at character stuff, really anything about it, dialog, inner workings and motivations. So it was really odd that I somehow ended up writing a character whose POV I'm not too confident in and MAKING UP HIS BACKSTORY AND THE BASIS OF HIS MOTIVATIONS. This story almost didn't get posted because I was writing it really tentatively and I hope you can see why it came out in the story.
2. I can totally understand that. Now that Sweets has a family, I see why he should have been closer and warmer. But put in the greater context of his story and his life (at least in this fic), I think that he's experienced enough to make him a little colder and more detached than he usually seems in the show. Also, since he's so young, present!Sweets isn't too far from Death metal!Sweets. Totally accept this view, but hope you can understand why I made the choice I did.
Ugh, I can't even express how much it means to me that you sat and typed all this for me, but I'm so glad you did and I'm so glad you liked it! Since I wrote this, I've felt more Bones coming on, so there might be something new soon. Thank you for reviewing!!
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2010-01-31 03:12 am (UTC)1. It probably feels uncertain because I WAS uncertain. The present tense that you mentioned at the forbidden tense comes naturally to me...mostly when I sit down to write, it automatically comes as present. The second person, though...I'd never used it before. Sweets...never used him before. I consider myself really bad at character stuff, really anything about it, dialog, inner workings and motivations. So it was really odd that I somehow ended up writing a character whose POV I'm not too confident in and MAKING UP HIS BACKSTORY AND THE BASIS OF HIS MOTIVATIONS. This story almost didn't get posted because I was writing it really tentatively and I hope you can see why it came out in the story.
2. I can totally understand that. Now that Sweets has a family, I see why he should have been closer and warmer. But put in the greater context of his story and his life (at least in this fic), I think that he's experienced enough to make him a little colder and more detached than he usually seems in the show. Also, since he's so young, present!Sweets isn't too far from Death metal!Sweets. Totally accept this view, but hope you can understand why I made the choice I did.
Ugh, I can't even express how much it means to me that you sat and typed all this for me, but I'm so glad you did and I'm so glad you liked it! Since I wrote this, I've felt more Bones coming on, so there might be something new soon. Thank you for reviewing!!